It’s like a superpower that has moved me beyond any intellectual process could ever take me. Not a type of clairvoyance rather, a knowing … deeper than my thinking. When I am present to myself, I can feel a room, feel energy, and feel emergence. I would describe myself as a thinker however, I think (he he) I’m transitioning to being more of a sensor. These questions are essential to finding a way to move through whatever it is that has taken up camp in my conscious and subconscious thinking… Feeling far away from myself, the cause of this sensation I must go inside, be present to the sensation rather than get swept away in the initial impulse of the fight, flight or be fooled by my own thinking and possibly seduced by the energetic. To capture the essence of the energy, I seek to discover the nature of which it shows up… fast or slow? Am I anxious or on the edge of inspiration? Is it restrictive or expansive? Am I in danger or am I stepping into a new state of being? Am I getting a glimpse of the parts of myself I have not yet occupied? Big questions, or not. My intention in this process was to determine where this disturbance ‘lives’ in me. So I sat, allowing myself, the best I could, to examine the nature of this sensation that has captivated me for days… ‘I’m feeling far away from myself’ and asked ‘What part of me is disturbed by this?’ A brilliant question …desinged to provoke self-reflection, and I’ve noticed when I sit in this question, the most interesting insights and awareness can emerge… give it a try. When I am captivated by an energetic shift, be it a speeding up or a slowing down, expansive or restrictive, AND I am present enough to myself to notice this shift… I ask myself… There is a question I ask to find ‘answers’ when thoughts hang on a query to which I owe thanks to Peter Block. I’ve had the most interesting, delightful, intense and fulfilling start to this year and yet, I notice this sense of unease or an unsettled feeling… lurking below the surface… a sensation that has yet to reveal its form or meaning has left me feeling far away from myself. This has turned into one of those thoughts, the clinging kind… not letting go (what I love about my ‘thought’ is my ‘thinking’ the thought should let me go… and we are not gonna go down that rabbit hole!).įeeling far away from myself settles in when I am alone, I go to sleep and still lingers as I wake… I’m the curious type so I chose to look at it with the intention to build a story of what it might mean… I’m noticing a feeling of impatience so I am pushing to form perhaps before its function is fully realized… I can be impatient with my own evolution… it’s a part of me I have grown to love the impatient child in me that sometimes wants to skip dinner and go straight to desert… to rush the process and ignore the divine nature of emergence. This sometimes happens I run something around in my head long enough I believe it to be true. I heard that somewhere I can’t remember when or where…maybe it was just the echo of my own thoughts, my virtual reality.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |